Seasonal Tales of Good Tidings

Here's Some Examples of Seasonal Stories Of Goodwill That Make My Holiday Heart Glow Warmer...

ex. The Shady Military Contractor Who Sold The U.S Marines Thousands of Faulty Protective Vests, And Spent 10 Million Dollars of the dough on his daughter's Bat Mitzvah, replete with Kenny G ($250,000) , 50 Cent ( $500,000), Aerosmith ( $2 Million), as well as Stevie Nicks, Tom Petty, Joe Walsh, and last month's Random Revelations featured Democratic fundraising star Don Henley .



ex. While the murder rate skyrockets to almost a hundred dead in our hood this year, the SFPD produces a video project that gets 20 officers suspended that the mayor proudly calls "shameful. ..offensive...sexist...homophobic...racist"

ex.To Prove It Is The Season of Charitable Giving, Congress Grants Even More Tax Cuts For Rich Investors !!

ex. Plus, Why Stop There, When We Can Have More Patriot Act For Everyone, w/ Extended Run By Popular Congessional Demand !!

The Justice Department is offering money to schools that have students wear RFID tags to track their whereabouts


So anyhow, I ain't got anything clever or ironic or succinct to add , since just reading all that stuff sorta took the seasonal sarcasm right out from under my tree...

hmm

Here, I leave it to you, you go and get linked up with a mess of just early enuf sonic X-mess gifts. There's just enuf time to get some use out em before you have to put em away in the closet with all the lights & spoiled eggnog cartons...

So go joyously fill your speakers & lighten up your holiday hub bub til yer festive froth runneth over...

• Lou Rawls - Merry Christmas Baby
  
  
  
• Brenda Lee - Silver Bells
  

• Ricki Lee Jones - Have Yourself A Merry Litle Christmas
  
  
  
• Dudley Dogg Jr - Christmas Puppy
  
  
  
  
• Clowns For Progress - Winter Wonderland

• Joy Zipper - Christmas Song
  
  
  


• Carl Vasta - Blue Grass Jingle Bells
  
  
  


• Kurtis Blow - Christmas Rappin
  
  
  


• RUN DMC -Christmas In Hollis
  
  
  


• John Denver and the Muppets - We Wish You A Merry Christmas.mp3
  
  
  


• John Denver and the Muppets - Silent Night, Holy Night.mp3
  
  
  


• Muppets - Jingle Bells Jingle Bell Rock.mp3
  
  
  


• Tenchi Muyo - Jingle Bells




• Trey & Matt of South Park - It's Xmas
  
  
  


• Los Texas Wranglers - Los Noche Before Christmas
• Robert Earl Keen - Merry Christmas From the Family
  
  
  


• Steve Martin - 5 Christmas Wishes




If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday season, it would be that all the children to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. If I had two wishes I could make this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace. And the second would be for 30 million dollars a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank account. You know, if I had three wishes I could make this holiday season, the first, of course, would be for all the children of the world to get together and sing, the second would be for the 30 million dollars every month to me, and the third would be for encompassing power over every living being in the entire universe. And if I had four wishes that I could make this holiday season, the first would be the crap about the kids definitely, the second would be for the 30 million, the third would be for all the power, and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year to have an extended 31-day orgasm, to be brought out slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina-somebody, I can't think of her name. Of course my lovely wife can come too and she's behind me one hundred percent here, I guarantee it. Wait a minute, maybe the sex thing should be the first wish, so if I made that the first wish, because it could all go boom tomorrow, then what do you got, y'know? No, no, the kids, the kids singing would be great, that would be nice. But wait a minute, who am I kidding? They're not going to be able to get all those kids together. I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible, more trouble than it's worth! So -- we reorganize! Here we go. First, the sex thing. We go with that. Second, the money. No, we got with the power second, then the money. And then the kids. Oh wait, oh jeez, I forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay, I need revenge against all my enemies, they should die like pigs in hell! That would be my fourth wish. And, of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. Thank you everybody and Merry Christmas.